When someone cuts you deep it is very difficult to not have them or their actions on your mind. But this constant ruminating leads to negative thoughts that consume you and hinder your ability to walk in line with God's will! For this reason, you must let it go!
I'm not gonna encourage you with the whole hater spiel about how God will make your enemy your footstool etc etc. While this is word and truth I feel it's counterproductive for this post. Every time I hear people talk about dealing with people who hurt them, they are over consumed with how their enemies will pay for their actions and they negate introspection. In other words, they forget to look inwardly.
Over the last month I've probably cried enough for an entire nation because of how I've been treated and because of the false/negative words spoken over my life.
(I know, I know get some thicker skin Melanie...sorry but I love people. I love them happy. I genuinely love interacting out of love. So when my good intentions or positive interactions receive hate in return it hurts. It’s a personality thing)
I cried out to God in anger, hurt, and confusion asking why they would treat me the way they did, why God would allow this to happen after all the sacrifices I made to serve him and him alone, and why it hurt so bad when I know I shouldn't have allowed it to negatively affect me the way it did.
The answers to these three questions were simple:
1. The enemy uses ANYONE that’s willing to be used. So whether we've been friends for 16 years or not if he can use them to throw me off track then he will. If he can use them to throw you off, then he will. If he can use YOU to throw them off, then he will! That's why it's important to be slow to speak and think before acting. Always ask yourself, “Is it God using me right now or Satan?”
2. This walk comes with a side of persecution. Serving God and his children does not exempt me from people talking about me, life being flipped upside down, or things not going my way. It is what it is! We have to be grateful that we have a God we can turn to for protection, support, and deliverance!
3. It hurts because when you’ve prayed for a heart like that of our loving Father, anything returned in a negative manner will cause grief!
But it’s how we deal with that grief that is most important.
For days I replayed the hurtful incidents including how I could have and probably should have dealt with these individuals in the moment. I thought about all the smart mouthed things I could have said and prayed to God basically just telling on them for what they did as if he didn’t already know.
I finally got sick of asking for God to help me forgive and move forward but going right back into these OBSESSIVE thoughts after saying Amen. I had to make some changes.
So I did what Philippians 4:8-9 commands and focused on God things. This forced me to:
- Praise a little more
- Pray blessings over those who hurt me just a little more
- Look at myself and see where I blew things out of proportion
- Looked at myself and dealt with the areas (or began to deal with the areas) that were under attack. For example one thing was "seeking man's approval". If I'd be content with God's stamp of approval many of the things people said would have rolled off my shoulders.
It's all a process but may I encourage you woman of God...Stop focusing so much on how your enemy will become your footstool and how vengeance is the Lords. Because in all our hating and anger we may end up becoming that footstool and reaping the vengeance we hoped on someone else. You see the bible does apply to all of God's children. The blessings AND the curses…Even those super saints who give up moments of control to the devil will reap what they sow…We reap what we sow!
So sow love. Sow praise. Sow understanding and compassion. Sow into yourself by looking deep at what those negative actions caused to rise up in you and deal with it. I'm certain that the lessons you learn will help you in your next season!
Stop wasting your energy on the people who've hurt you and change your focus to God things. #GainPeace #GrowWhileYoureDoingIt