After drinking 3 Venti White Chocolate Mochas it’s more than likely you’ll successfully pull an all-nighter or get through the workday but you’ll probably experience the shakes and eventually crash. During a drunken stupor one might experience a good time but have a hangover from hell the following morning. (Everyone has a testimony)
The same thing can happen in the spiritual realm! And while many of us know this, it doesn’t stop these crashes from sneaking up on us even if we feel prepared for them.
In the month of May my schedule and life was full of new opportunities, several spiritual highs, and several transitions related to forward movement in God. People, including myself, have been released from years of bondage, lives have turned to Christ in ways like never before, and the enemy has been losing his workers as they form these more intimate relationships with God. You would think that I’d be having the greatest praise party.
Nah, even though I pray daily and devote time to God everyday I moved into a realm of doubt, discouragement, and extreme fatigue. Like it didn’t matter how much I slept or how much I attempted to engage in energy giving exercises I could barely make it through the day without feeling like my body was going to give up on me. I was very aware that this attack on my physical body was spiritual but spent more time complaining about being fatigued than actually speaking against it. Earlier in the week I spent time reflecting and here is what God showed me!
1. God was added to my to do list
Although I didn’t realize it, God became an item on my to do list! My prayer time, devotion time, and meditation was simply to say I did it. Check, now we can move on to the next task for today. Being disconnected from God
while thinking you are fully connected is a dangerous place to be in. This is where doubt and discouragement had a chance to creep in and bury itself in my spirit leading to the negative mental and spiritual place I was heading towards.
2. I hadn’t taken the time to rest
I don’t care what anyone says, we all need time for rest, mentally, physically, and spiritually. A time to sit back and reflect, take a nap, not answer phone calls and emails…a time to just be. Sabbaths are important. If I would have engaged in at least a moment of rest I may have prevented a couple weeks of feeling yuck!
3. Be alert after great spiritual victories
As we learn from Elijah in 1Kings, after a spiritual high there is potential for a low. After Elijah and God defeated all the prophets that were hired by Jezebel you would think he would be in praise mode but that wasn’t the case. He was probably waiting for her to say, “You know what, you’re right your God is the one true God let’s all serve him and him alone”. Instead she said, “nah, kill him”. So Elijah went on the run afraid for his life. He came to a broom tree and prayed to God that he would die and laid down and went to sleep. Elijah was discouraged and fatigued to the point of wanting to die right after he experienced the power of the Lord like never before! But God didn’t get mad at him, disown him, judge him, tell him he was weak and unworthy of his call, or yell at him. God provided him with food and let him rest and restore his energy strengthening him for the remainder of his journey (1 Kings 19).
If you are feeling discouraged, fatigued, depressed, angry, alone…don’t worry! You aren’t the first and you aren’t the only one. Even if no one around you understands what you are going through remember God does. He’s patient and just like he did with Elijah, he will allow you rest, will provide for you in the manner you need (for Elijah it was food and drink), and he will show himself to you so that you may move forward. It could be in the wind, earthquake, or fire, but it might be in a still small voice (19:11-12). Allow yourself to be in position to hear from God in whatever manner he is speaking and let him lead you back to spiritual and physical health.
I’m proud to report I’m doing better than I was yesterday. I understand that some things are a process. I’m just glad to know that God is a truly loving God who will walk me through these moments and still use me to shine a light on his goodness. I’m excited that he’s doing the same for you! Please just let him.
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